{"id":40411,"date":"2020-11-29T10:10:12","date_gmt":"2020-11-29T10:10:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/?p=40411"},"modified":"2020-11-29T10:39:26","modified_gmt":"2020-11-29T10:39:26","slug":"veame-kihla-et-sellele-ei-osanud-sa-enne-koeravottu-moelda","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/veame-kihla-et-sellele-ei-osanud-sa-enne-koeravottu-moelda\/","title":{"rendered":"Veame kihla, et sellele ei osanud sa enne koerav\u00f5ttu m\u00f5elda!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kui enne koerav\u00f5ttu stressad iga p\u00e4ev, et ise paksuks ei l\u00e4heks, siis p\u00e4rast koerav\u00f5ttu hakkad igap\u00e4evaselt stressama, et ka su koer paksuks ei l\u00e4heks! Ma olin k\u00f5ik asjad l\u00e4bi kaalunud, v\u00e4lja arvatud see!<\/p>\n

Kui kassidel on k\u00f5ht t\u00fchi, siis nad lihtsalt r\u00f6\u00f6givad (v\u00e4hemalt orientalid), kuni neile toit kaussi kukub. Nad ei l\u00f5peta enne! K\u00e4ivad \u00fcmber oma kausi ja kr\u00e4unuvad nagu karvased deemonid. Inimene alistub suht ruttu ja kr\u00f5binapakk avanebki. Kord hommikul, kord \u00f5htul. A mida koer teeb? Ta ei tule sulle kaks korda p\u00e4evas haukudes \u00fctlema, et kuule inimene, s\u00f6\u00f6giaeg. EI! Ta vudib iga jumala kord, kui SINA midagi s\u00f6\u00f6d, sinu juurde, istub sinu ja su v\u00f5ileiva (v\u00f5i sinu ja su burgeri v\u00f5i sinu ja su j\u00e4\u00e4tise v\u00f5i sinu ja su vegansupi v\u00f5i misiganes sa s\u00f6\u00f6d) ette maha ning hakkab sind kurbade silmadega vaatama. Lihtsalt j\u00e4lgib igat su ampsu. Lisaks on koertel eriline oskus oma kulmudega m\u00e4ngida, mis teeb nende ilme veel… veel hirvesilmalikumaks? Mis tekitab sinus veel… veel rohkem s\u00fc\u00fcmekaid.<\/p>\n

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Ja siis sa lakud oma j\u00e4\u00e4tist v\u00f5i haukad burgerit ning su koer kergitab sedasi iga ampsu peale kulmu ja vahib iga palakest, mis su suhu liigub. Ja su s\u00fcda…. Kui see ei ole kivist, siis see l\u00f5hkeb! Ja sa annad oma kutsale t\u00fcki oma burgerisaiast v\u00f5i otsid talle koerak\u00fcpsise v\u00f5i k\u00fclmikust v\u00e4ikse vorstijupi. L\u00f5puks on sul s\u00fc\u00fcmekad, et s\u00f5id ise selle burksi v\u00f5i liitri j\u00e4\u00e4tist (v\u00f5i m\u00f5lemat!) ning lisas\u00fc\u00fcmekad, et andsid koerale j\u00e4rjekordselt tema toidukorrav\u00e4lise ampsu v\u00f5i isegi mitu. Ja nii iga kord!<\/p>\n

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“Ega sa ometi s\u00f6\u00f6ma ei hakka?”<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Kui sa enne koerav\u00f5ttu tundsid s\u00fc\u00fcmekaid, et sa v\u00f5ibolla ei liigu v\u00f5i ei tee piisavalt trenni, kui oled \u00e4ra s\u00f6\u00f6nud burgeri ja liitri j\u00e4\u00e4tist, siis n\u00fc\u00fcd on sul topelts\u00fc\u00fcmekad, sest \u00e4kki ka su koergi peaks veidi pikemaid tiire tegema. Kui \u00fchiskond on j\u00f5udnud nii kaugele, et keegi just sulle otse n\u00e4kku ei \u00fctle, et sa oled paks, siis su koer v\u00f5ib t\u00e4iesti vabalt selliseid m\u00e4rkuseid saada. Body positivity my ass! <\/em>Ja usu mind, su koer ei saa sellest m\u00e4rkusest aru, nii et ikkagi sul endal tuleb see t\u00e4helepanek alla neelata.<\/p>\n

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Ja nii paned sa peale enda ka oma koera dieedile! L\u00f5putult kestvale dieedile, mida optimistlikemates seltskondades nimetatakse elustiili muutuseks, aga olgem ausad, tegelikult on tavaline n\u00e4lgimine.<\/p>\n

Elu!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kui enne koerav\u00f5ttu stressad iga p\u00e4ev, et ise paksuks ei l\u00e4heks, siis p\u00e4rast koerav\u00f5ttu hakkad igap\u00e4evaselt stressama, et ka su koer paksuks ei l\u00e4heks! Ma olin k\u00f5ik asjad l\u00e4bi kaalunud, v\u00e4lja arvatud see! Kui kassidel on k\u00f5ht t\u00fchi, siis nad lihtsalt r\u00f6\u00f6givad (v\u00e4hemalt orientalid), kuni neile toit kaussi kukub. Nad ei l\u00f5peta enne! K\u00e4ivad \u00fcmber… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":40414,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,3,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40411","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-arvamus","category-huumor","category-muu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40411","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40411"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40411\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":40423,"href":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40411\/revisions\/40423"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/40414"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40411"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40411"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ebaparlikarp.ee\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40411"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}